Hello. My name is Iden.

I am a transgender female artist, writer, photographer, and poet. I work primarily in mixed media, pencil and pen. I came to art out of necessity. Before this life as an artist I led another, very different, existence as a paramedic and firefighter.

For nearly 25 years I worked in emergency rooms, on the street and in the air. It was exciting, stressful, dangerous, joyful, tragic work and I loved it. But there came point when all of the stress and tragedy became too much for me. I developed PTSD and for years I struggled with that in secret. I developed an eating disorder and began to cut myself. I was haunted by nightmares and flashbacks. And through all of that ran a line of thinking that I had not been able to escape my entire life. The thought that I hated my body and that I wished I was a woman.

I began to draw out of necessity. I had things to say and words were not adequate. But drawing is a skill that takes time and I needed to express myself now. That’s how I came to collage. I didn’t need to learn any new physical skills. I could use other people’s images and arrange them in a way that was meaningful to me.

I worked in collage every chance I had. I drew during my downtime at the station. I began to accumulate these images, these recordings of my feelings and experiences, and as I did, I began to see patterns. I noticed recurring images and themes. Women, un-whole bodies, butterflies, things that I didn’t know how to interpret. The skulls, razors, blood, that all made sense. I was still in that dark space of self mutilating and dealing with what I’d been through at work. But the rest was a mystery. Until it wasn’t.

I came out as transgender on July 5 2020. I believe the accessing of my subconscious during my artistic process was integral in pulling that knowledge to the surface. July 5 2020 was the day I gave up self injury. I no longer work as a paramedic/firefighter. My journey now is one of creativity and healing. I wouldn’t be here without this art. I could not have survived that darkness without my creativity to guide me.

Suicide, self harm, gender dysphoria, eating disorders, you will see these themes all throughout my work. The struggles and pain are still there but the injuries are healing. I invite you to view these pieces in the way that I have come to which is similar to how one would view a dream or a vision. The meaning is not always clear, not even to me, but it is there. I hope you find meaning as well and I thank you for joining me.

-Iden